What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize