it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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