Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I would ride that face into the sunset
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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