Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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