oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize