Buhtt sex?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize