i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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