Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
