So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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