There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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