She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
