i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
