Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
