my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
