I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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