he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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