My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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