Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
