talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
