so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
