i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
