I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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