She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
