dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
