I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
