Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
