an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
