My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
