Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
