3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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