So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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