I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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