My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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