i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
