I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
