I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
