Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
