Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
