no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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