I am in a vortex of obligation.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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