youre lurking in front of me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have already put on my inside pants.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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