I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
