And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
