oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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