So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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