ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
