he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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