Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?