I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
