you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
