Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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