Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize