Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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