Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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