im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
