don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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