Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
