Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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