The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
