Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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