2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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